One of the most frustrating things we can encounter in our spiritual walk is when we are set on fire for Jesus, running full force forward and leaving our spouse behind in the dust. We aren’t leaving them behind purposefully, but when we seek Jesus with everything we’ve got and see the one we love sitting idly by being passive in their spiritual walk, it becomes extremely frustrating.
The first thing I want you to know is that their spiritual journey is not your responsibility. I know that may be difficult to hear, but years ago, it brought me great freedom when my overseer said to me, “One day you will stand before the Lord and give an account of your life, and your spouse will also stand before the Lord and give an account of his life. You are going to be responsible for your life and he will be responsible for his.” Hearing him say that brought me much freedom. He encouraged me to keep pursuing Jesus with everything in me and not to allow anything to hinder me.
We want to control, change, and force our spiritual journey on our spouses. We need to remember that most of them didn’t fall in love with a radical Jesus lover. They fell in love with a person they had more in common within a secular sense. They didn’t marry into this and now they are adjusting to a change in your time, finances, and character that they weren’t expecting. You have to take a moment and allow them to breathe that in. Your newfound faith isn’t theirs and as difficult as it is to hear, you have to get your hands off and let the Holy Spirit be in the convictor instead of you. You will only push them further away by forcing your beliefs upon them.
How do you move forward? Realize they are not your responsibility and deal with the disappointment for a moment. Pray. Pray purely without bordering on the line of controlling prayers. I’ve listed some simple, powerful prayer points.
- Pray, Holy Spirit, convict them.
- Renew them to you and remove them from bad influences and sin.
- Bring what is hidden out in the open.
- Reveal the truth in a way they would receive it.
- Put people in their path they will receive from.
Keep it short by praying pullet points: short, simple statements that allow God to be God and you to keep your hands off the situation. When you pray controlling prayers, you are opening the door to the enemy and sin. Trust that the same God that drew you into a deeper relationship will additionally draw your spouse. Pray for the obedience and discipline of your spouse that as the Spirit begins to convict them, they will receive. I don’t believe the Spirit of the Lord calls us to go deep without desiring to bring our spouses alongside us spiritually. Trust. Believe. Pray! I’ll expect you to gain some peace in the waiting as you trust in your Lord.
